𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗔𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟~𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗟, 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘𝗦 𝗕𝗬 𝗝𝗢𝗕, 𝗝𝗘𝗦𝗨𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗗𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗦

 

Satan the Devil and his posse of recalcitrant, nasty demons have been a thorn in the side of the Almighty nearly from Day 1, yet the frequently quick-tempered Jehovah/Allah/Yahweh/Elohim has opted to keep the evil contingent around.

That's surprisingly out of character for the God of the Universe, who punched the clock of Lot's wife instantly when she committed the evil of turning around to look back at the home she'd just left, sadistically turning her into a pillar of salt.

Speaker of the House Johnson

Newly-elected Speaker of the House James Michael Johnson assures us that the Noachian Flood was also an historical event, when God killed all but 8 of Earth's inhabitants with waters covering the "tops of the highest mountains," according the the book Johnson promises has "all the answers."

OK, Mike.  Mount Everest soars to 29,029 feet.  That's a lot of water, lad.

But, wait!  Mount Chimborazo in Ecuador rises from a bulge in Earth, extending 6,798 feet farther into space from the Earth's core than Everest.

Mount Chimborazo

Hawaii also says "hello!" with Mauna Kea the tallest from base to tip at 33,497 feet.

Satan was even allowed on the premises, somewhere near God's throne, when the two discussed the man Job and made a bet on whether or not he would curse God if he lost all his wealth and everything else.

To win the bet, God allowed Satan to destroy all of the wealthy man's lifestock, induce his wife to leave him, kill all his children, inflict Job with painful boils from head to foot, etc.

God won the bet, though, and gave Job just what he craved; replacement children, another wife and all his wealth back.

If God is anything like Donald Trump, he relished the victory despite Job's suffering, likely calling Satan a "loser," but keeping him around.

The Amalekites, Hivites, Amorites and Hittites had no such luck.  God used his name people, the Israelites, to kill, not only every man, woman and child in those nations, but their household and field workers and livestock.  

Damn!  What had those sheep, goats and horses done to God?  

Whatever they did must have been worse than Satan's activities, because God kept him around.

Satan was still around doing his thing in the first century, anno domini, when God's son came to Earth to do some teaching, perform miracles, etc.

Satan, perhaps acting as an agent for God, offered Jesus three separate and distinct temptations, all of which Jesus resisted.

I'm hesitant to call Satan a "loser," though, because he's still around during the time of Jesus, getting prestigious assignments from God.

According to Speaker Johnson's handbook for life, Satan will be around much, much longer.

The Book of a Revelation, issued by Jesus, but penned by John from the Isle of Patmos, says that Satan and his Demons will be around until the end of Christ's reign of 1,000 years to, for one last time, tempt humankind in some sort of "Final Test."

Talk about job security!  For how many thousands of years now has Satan been testing, tempting, challenging God's human servants?

I guess even gods need someone around to do the dirty work.

Bishop Daniel Flores, God's Brownsville Contact