MCHALE CHRONICLES LOCAL DIVORCE

 Several years ago, Jerry McHale told me he was looking forward to retirement so he could sit down at the court house and get the details on juicy divorces.

Jerry seems to have the story he was yearning for in the ongoing divorce between Dutch and Ludy Fisher.  

I don't know the Fishers, but I've seen Mr. Fisher, once or twice, expressing himself before the City Commission on a zoning or real estate issue.

Fisher struck me as a man who took considerable pride is his dress in a style we old folks call "dapper."

Anyway, here's Jerry's report:

Jerry McHale

In a nasty divorce that would certainly be deserving of a television show, Ludy Fisher is accusing Frederick "Dutch" Fisher, among multiple other outrages, of pointing a shotgun at her on one occasion and threatening to kill her and on another occasion of  killing her two cats.

"His scrotum literally hung to his knees," marveled Sanchez. "It was the most incredible sight that I have ever seen in my life."

The case is being heard in Judge David Sanchez's 444th State District Court. McAllen attorney Katie Klein is representing the wife and Ron Armstrong is representing the husband. In an incident involving the major actors, Armstrong threw a glass of wine in Sanchez's face at La Pampa that turned into a major fracas at the exclusive restaurant. Sanchez admitted after the confrontation that both he and Armstrong have been permanently prohibited from future service.

Ludy Fisher

Meanwhile, the divorce case has become the main topic of gossip at The Toddle Inn, Bertha's and other popular eateries featuring huevos rancheros for breakfast. With Ms. Fisher distraught over the reported murder of her cats and her unsuccessful requests from the authorities for a protective order because she fears for her life, we at The McHale Report have turned to the Baker Boys, the famed detective duo, to investigate Ms. Fisher's charges. They returned with the latest police report, the last of approximately ten filed by the wife, and her statements speak for themselves.

Ms. Fisher informed Brownsville Police Department Officer Edgar Rivera that a former client e-mailed her that she was at the Fishers' residence--Ms. Fisher hasn't resided there in almost a year--and noticed a foul smell pervading the house. She added that Mr. Fisher was hosting a party in which the majority of those in attendance were doing cocaine.

Mr. Fisher explained to this individual that the rancid smell was emanating from a freezer in which he was storing a dead cat. He further stated that his wife had entered the residence when he wasn't at home and had poisoned two of their three cats, the second which he buried in the backyard. He intended to have an autopsy performed on the frozen feline.

Mrs. Fisher countered that there is no truth to the accusation and that he is the murderer. She insists that she saved the third cat from a similar fate, which is now in her possession. To further substantiate her husband's sanguinary impulses, he approached her at an establishment on South Padre Island and spat, "I'm going to fucking kill you!"

In a separate matter included in the report, Officer Rivera records: "Ludy further stated that Deputy Constable Andrew Perez served Frederick with court documents approximately a month ago and that Andrew told Ludy that Frederick told the  deputy constable that he had bombs and guns and could kill the deputy constable. Frederick also told the deputy constable that his body guard had guns and bombs."

"We are dealing with an extremely volatile situation," said Billy, the more talkative of the private-eye twins. "Did Mr. Fisher kill the cats? Did Mr. Fisher threaten to kill his wife? Did Mr. Fisher threaten to kill the deputy constable. Is the BPD investigating? Why can't Ms. Fisher attain a protective order? We know that there are dead cats as Mr. Fisher has admitted. Will there soon be dead people? It is mind-boggling that the authorities aren't taking a more active role in attaining the facts in this he said/she said contretemps.

"Why haven't they collected the dead cats and performed autopsies?" continued an incredulous Baker. "Both spouses insist they were poisoned? Why hasn't Deputy Constable Edgar Rivera been interviewed to substantiate or refute accusations? Why hasn't the individual who originally reported the foul odor during Mr. Fisher's alleged cocaine party been summoned by the authorities. This entire affair seems to be spinning completely out-of-control and nobody appears to be doing anything."

The Baker Boys will continue investigating and The McHale Report will continue reporting.