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| Captain Bob and Admiral Paz At Sea (Graphic by Diego Lee Rot) |
You likely have not noticed, but, our blogosphere, the very internet air we breathe, has a twosome, an anemic duo of tandem bloggers who announce our tax bills online and then offer us a bag of avocados as penitence, the forgettable Captain Bob and Duardo Martinez.
It gets "curiouser and curiouser" as Captain Bob gets mentored by Duardo Martinez, who coaches him in blog writing while publishing his stories, while our friend, Jerry McHale, does the same for Duardo.
It's called networking, kids. The Mormons in Utah do it, just as the Italians in New York did it. Achieve success, then pull your protoges out of the water. Captain Bob and Duardo are being nurtured as we speak.
The boys, Captain Bob and Duardo, want to say something before we sign off. OK, boys, you have the floor:
Captain Bob: "Eat more avocados!"
Duardo: "Pay your county taxes!"
Aren't they cute?
DPM's a complete asshole. Just a matter of time before Captain Bod ends up literally kicking that idiot's ass.
ReplyDeleteHedley.
That's Admiral Paz!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot everyone's favorite cartoon twosome. The Ambiguously Gay Duo.
ReplyDeleteWho's Duardo?
ReplyDeleteI bet the faculty at St. Joe cringes every time Sanchez mentions that he is an alum. Perhaps his man crush will teach him some basic writing skills.
ReplyDeleteNo better athlete has come from St. Joe, Bob is a local celebrity!
DeleteYou forgot to mention how Bob had late fees on his BPUB bill. For someone who claims to live high on the hill, why does he get a pass for being late on paying his BPUB bill?
ReplyDeleteRobert Sanchez what a nut case. Idiot needs to go back to first grade and learn how to spell correctly.
ReplyDeleteC'mon people, it's just entertainment. don't take it too seriously. Some people like to leave the curtains open so people can look at them and talk about them. they're not crazy, just needy. capt bob couldn't stand it that the bloggers were refusing to take his calls with lurid details of his latest drama so he got himself a pet monkey, not a wild one, to take his calls (and his money. being a pet is not cheap) and mentor him with his new blog, which is a wonderful read in its childlike amusement, wonder and simplicity. Like a true nature child, capt bob is in awe of the guy mowing his yard while he sips a mimosa and scratches his butt-tocks searching for linty inspiration. We learn the captain is no Shallow Hal. He is spiritual and in touch with his surroundings, one who hums along the wailing song of the mourning dove and is up before sunrise, sweatpants, shirtless and bald, facing the northwest to feel the first cool winds of fall. Unlike a true nature child, Capt. Bob was not born to be wild and he scurries inside his stucco fort at the first drops of rain and lights up the fireplace to cuddle with his centerfold blonde and their pet monkey. Oh yeah, and a bottle of Hennesy. Capt Bob is Our Town's Donald Trump, all pomp without any great intellect, but dangerous because he knows important people from during the time he had more money and gave a shit but now le vale madre and, in a loose cannon state, is capable of upsetting the city elite apple cart. capt bob just wants to be heard... what a great find his girlfriend is, how big and plump his avocados are, the number of tables occupied at his seafood restaurant, what a beautiful mansion he lives in (and you don't) and what a great, all-you-can-eat- life he and his lovely dame and his pet monkey are living. It's Our Town's first Reality Show. In this latest episode, EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE, Capt Bob sans simian goes to Austin, to the state capitol, pounding the oaken corridors of power, looking for dongtime state representative Rene "Mr. Goodbar" Oliveira, measuring reactions when he informs an elevator repairman and a security guard that one of Austin's own is having an affair. Hilarity ensues. Capt Bob would show you his left testicle if he could get a bump in his new blog views. And he would show it with a wink and a smile. If Capt. Bob didn't have any money, he wouldn't have that gorgeous girlfriend or his pet monkey. But he would still show you he's nuts. It's entertainment, folks. Nothing to get hung about.
ReplyDeleteCAPT BOB AND ADMIRAL PAZ TELL IT LIKE IT IS!!!!
ReplyDeleteGorgeous girlfriend??? Amazing what photoshop and filters can do to pictures these days. She definitely doesn’t look gorgeous in the mug shot that Brownsville PD took of her when she got arrested. She is just as worthless as her boyfriend.
ReplyDelete