When Religion Destroys Families

A mother of four has spoken out about her ordeal at the hands of an Orthodox Jewish community- saying she was trapped in an abusive arranged marriage for six years.
Pearlperry Reich, 30, says she was pushed into an arranged marriage with Sinai Meir Sholz in her home of Borough Park in Brooklyn, New York and had 'issues' right from the start.
She is still fighting to finalise her divorce as her husband fights her all the way - saying she acts improperly by wearing trousers and accusing her of 'promiscuous' activity.

She claims her husband called her a 'slut' in front of her children, cut up one of her $4,000 wigs and warned her that she was 'playing with fire' by seeking to leave the Orthodox community.

This is how she appeared on the Dr. Phil Show. She practices the Orthodox Jewish religion in the home, observing all of the holy days, following dietary rules and the super strict dress code. Outside the home she works as a model, an unsavory occupation in the eyes of her husband and the Orthodox Jewish community. She entered into an arranged marriage at the age of 18. Her own father is an Orthodox rabbi. At the time Pearl entered into the arranged marriage, she signed an agreement to submit to Jewish Orthodoxy with respect to her marriage and children. Now that she wants out of her marriage, she faces losing the custody of her children.

Another religion that not only destroys families but ruins the lives of young women is the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints or FLDS. Warren Jeffs, a pastor in that religion, is now in prison for life for raping underage girls. He allegedly has dozens of wives, many of them underage.

Now that he's in prison and not allowed conjugal visits, Jeffs has forbidden church members from having sex until he is released from prison.

"Right now they have all been told that they are not to live as husband and wife. They can live in the same house, but they are not to have sexual relationships until Warren comes out and re-seals them." Joni Holm, church member.

In Pastor Jeffs former congregation, a woman admitted to violating this rule and having sexual relations with her husband. She repented, stating she would comply with the new rule. Her husband did not and was disfellowshipped from the church. He was forced to leave the community, the church and his children behind, another family broken up by a man-made religion.

The Amish are another religious group that allows their beliefs to break up families. When a young person decides they no longer want to practice the religion, their family and the entire Amish community shuns them with no interaction. Below is the experience of a woman who left the Amish religion at the age of 24:

"I was born and raised by Amish parents who lived in Missouri, Wisconsin, and Minnesota in the United States. At 24 years old I made my first life changing decision for myself and walked away from the only life I had ever known. I went searching for a life filled with love, peace, and tranquility. One might say, “I thought that is what the Amish life is all about?” Well I am telling you that it was not for me. Certainly there are some things about my heritage that I will always treasure and I still practice today, but, we have to remember that Amish people are human beings just like the rest of us and they do have shortcomings.

My parents had ten children; four still practice the Amish faith and lifestyle today but six do not. I was the first female in my family to walk away. Today I am shunned from my family, community, and most Amish communities throughout America.

Shunning – you will find that this word has a varied meaning depending on the community you are in but I will explain what it meant in my community. When a member of the church (I was not a member until I was baptized at age 18) has gone against the rules of the church they are considered to be in sin. Your name is then announced to all members so they know to impose the shunning upon you. It is a requirement to shun sinners or you are in sin yourself. This means there is no buying or selling with the member being shunned. You cannot sit at the same table and have a meal and, in the case of a married couple, there are no martial relations during the shunning.

The above rules go across every Amish community but the following are some that were specific to my community. They cannot accept gifts from me (as the sinner), they will never visit my home, they can give me money but not accept any money from me, and I cannot attend a church service unless I want to rejoin the Amish.

All rules of the church are not written. The members are reminded of the rules twice a year. The Bishop, Ministers, and Deacon along with the elders of the church and parents are responsible to enforce the rules."

Here's another personal experience from someone in the Jehovah's Witness religion, another group that allows a belief system to divide families:

My Jehovah's Witness grandmother passed away last night after a long battle with Alzheimers disease. She suffered a lot at the end of her life, a shell of who she once was, so I am happy she is at peace. As I mentioned my brother died a short three months ago. It has been a difficult time for everyone. But as an "outsider", a "former Jehovah's Witness", who hasn't been a Witness since the age of 18, I dread these situations because it highlights how the religion causes unnecessary drama and headache in already sad situation.

Of course I will have to attend the Kingdom Hall. Out of respect I will do it, although I dread it with everything in me. I will see a good portion of my family, HALF will even refuse to acknowledge my existence. WHY? Because I choose to not believe in their religion. I will see friends I grew up with who will act like a dog on the street deserves more acknowledgement than me. RIGHT? And then finally I will have to sit in front on an elder preach on the JOYS OF DEATH and how she is "saved" and will live again in a Paradise on earth. I will try to do this without making any vomit sounds out of my mouth. Afterwards everyone will go to their funeral dinners, I will have to drive back home (over 3 hours) without any further interaction with family or former friends.

No one can tell that the Jehovah's Witness religion doesn't break up and destroy families. No one.