MAYOR CHANGES MIND!
With his son the priest suffering from stage four stomach cancer, Mayor Tony "El Tirano" Martinez has apparently decided to seek reelection. The Baker Boys, the crack investigative team, have culled that information from reliable sources.
Juan "El Ruckmaker" Montoya, the publisher of El Rrun Rrun, first reported that Martinez might even resign due to his son's illness, but the Baker Boys, who first reported that investigative journalist Bobby Wightman-Cervantes was gay, insist that their deep throats are closer to Martinez and that the Democratic kingpin likes being the biggest carp in a polluted resaca and will continue to lead his school of insiders.
"He believes the consummation of Space Sex will substantiate his many failures in office and will provide him the momentum to protect the interests of the establishment and put money in the pockets of his compadres," offered a former Brownsville Herald columnist.
"Tony defies definition. He is spinning his wheels in Brownsville accomplishing nothing except earning the ire of the community when he could be on the Italian coast consuming fine wines and imagining that he was Pablo Neruda as he penned his doggerel. Harlingen products, however, are not very imaginative and Martinez reflects this dearth of creative powers."
While Wightman-Cervantes continues to push for Martinez's recall and Mean Mister Brownsville's Jim Barton chronicles of a daily basis Martinez's incompetence and corruption, the city's elite adore him. He could give a damn if the bus are servicing the barrios, but if "Boozin'" Bill Hudson is suffering from a hangover or Juliet "La Santissima Putissima" Garcia is languishing with an ingrown pubic hair, Martinez is at their bedside conducting a novena.
"Martinez, who has always been a womanizer and wino at heart, likes to portray himself as the great Catholic to whom God has entrusted this Third World enclave with its flock of black sheep," continued the same journalist. "Unfortunately, Martinez is the Great Black Sheep, but his puppeteers Carlos 'El Mago' Marin and Fred 'The Kraut' Rusteberg are careful that the mindless Martinez never sees his reflection in a mirror."
Juan "El Ruckmaker" Montoya, the publisher of El Rrun Rrun, first reported that Martinez might even resign due to his son's illness, but the Baker Boys, who first reported that investigative journalist Bobby Wightman-Cervantes was gay, insist that their deep throats are closer to Martinez and that the Democratic kingpin likes being the biggest carp in a polluted resaca and will continue to lead his school of insiders.
"He believes the consummation of Space Sex will substantiate his many failures in office and will provide him the momentum to protect the interests of the establishment and put money in the pockets of his compadres," offered a former Brownsville Herald columnist.
"Tony defies definition. He is spinning his wheels in Brownsville accomplishing nothing except earning the ire of the community when he could be on the Italian coast consuming fine wines and imagining that he was Pablo Neruda as he penned his doggerel. Harlingen products, however, are not very imaginative and Martinez reflects this dearth of creative powers."
While Wightman-Cervantes continues to push for Martinez's recall and Mean Mister Brownsville's Jim Barton chronicles of a daily basis Martinez's incompetence and corruption, the city's elite adore him. He could give a damn if the bus are servicing the barrios, but if "Boozin'" Bill Hudson is suffering from a hangover or Juliet "La Santissima Putissima" Garcia is languishing with an ingrown pubic hair, Martinez is at their bedside conducting a novena.
"Martinez, who has always been a womanizer and wino at heart, likes to portray himself as the great Catholic to whom God has entrusted this Third World enclave with its flock of black sheep," continued the same journalist. "Unfortunately, Martinez is the Great Black Sheep, but his puppeteers Carlos 'El Mago' Marin and Fred 'The Kraut' Rusteberg are careful that the mindless Martinez never sees his reflection in a mirror."
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Tony Martinez is an embarrassment to our city, but obviously his ego is like that of Julieta Garcia......and the energizer bunny......it continues to self-inflate. Despite the lack of transparency in his administration, his refusal to open the commission meetings to public debate, and his frivolous use of tax dollars for his own pet projects (actually not his, but pet projects of United Brownsville and Julieta Garcia) he still thinks "his budz" can win it for him. He has disappointed more voters than he knows....and even some of his "friends" will not vote for him in the future. He is not a leader....and he has proven that in this administration....and he doesn't seem to understand that he is merely a pawn for United Brownsville and that bunch will throw him under the bus if it suits them. Tony Martinez is a joke and we know it.
ReplyDeleteI hate that I supported this a%&hole. He will not get re-elected!
ReplyDeleteIt is true Tony Martinez is a parody of himself. There is also a belief that God does not punish people out of revenge for their misdeeds, in fact he does. He hits you where it hurts and without remorse.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say to that is what a heavy statement and true we must all repent.
DeleteThe mayor is Un-electable. Like many mayors of our past, Tony has proven that power corrupts. He has always ruled under the assumption that he IS the city commission.
ReplyDeleteHe had one chance to make this city stronger and more united (by that I mean lifting the poor and using every chance given to better the city) and he abused our trust. He used that chance to give Julieta the cream of our crop, and NO I am not talking about a few properties. I am talking about his time and attention and his promise to serve us. He WASTED his time on Julieta who only cares about herself. This woman wrote the book on deceiving the people, and the mayor proved he was nothing more than her minion.
Let him run, let him talk his crap. He does not care about Brownsville. He does not care what you think. He will not give you two minutes of your time. His legacy is almost as pathetic as Pat Ahumadas. While Martinez may be intelligent on paper, his compassion and common sense is lacking in the most grand sense.
I voted for him and I just wanted to say hello and he couldn't give me the time of day, we remember things like that. He looked at me like I smelled bad or something, you know that blank look of get the "F" away from me.
ReplyDeleteI will actively support his opponent (s) . Our current mayor must not be reelected. I dislike him so much I will not even write his name.
I won't vote for him either. He acts like if he doesn't know most of the people who supported him.
ReplyDelete