Juan, What About the UTB Non-Graduates?

THURSDAY, MARCH 29, 2012

MAMANDO Y DANDO TOPES: UTB CABRITOS HAS A NICE RING TO IT

By Juan Montoya

It has now become a Brownsville Herald front-page question (and online Facebook discussion) on what the new mascot for the University of Texas (nee UTB-TSC) should be.

Never mind the massacre in Syria, the Pope's visit in Cube with Fidel, or the Supreme Court's impending decision on Obama's health care reform. What is of vital importance to us here in Brownsville is what beast, weather calamity, or standard-bearer will be named mascot of the fledgling UTB once TSC rids itself of its abusive mate.

There are names thrown about that want to give the school's new team names like the "Cavalry," the "Knights," "Trailblazers," "Guardians, "Vaqueros," etc.

Then there are others that favor local fauna such as "Sharks," "Barracudas," "Toros," even such eco-friendly ones like "Sea Turtles, "Texas Tortoises," "White-Tailed Deer," Ocelots," "Armadillos," and the like.

We had once suggested that the UT Blood Ticks would bespeak to the parasitic character of the UTB versus TSC, but now that the university seems to have resigned itself to go off on its own, we feel we must withdraw that suggestion in favor of something with a more local flavor.

Even though we can see how names like the "Cavalry," "Vaqueros," and "Trailblazers," may seem apropos given the history of the area (Ft. Brown, the start of the Chisholm Trail, the route of the (18) 49ers headed for the gold fields of California), a new institution may not be well served by a throwback to the past.

Likewise, naming a football or baseball team after a sea critter, a burrowing animal or Bambi wouldn't quite strike fear into the hearts of their opponents on the field or arena.

We suggest something easily identifiable with the region, a favorite of visitors to the border, and an animal that is at the same time identifiable with the naval character of our seacoast. The Navy, of course, has Bill, the Goat. We would never name a mascot "Bill," translated into Spanish as "Cobro," as in "ya llego el cobro" at the beginning of the month.

No, we wold instead choose "Los UTB Cabritos."

Think about it.

Tourists and visitors from throughout Texas and the United States come to the border to enjoy the succulence of baby goats grilled over burning coals. And, at the outset of any new school, any established team would eat this team up alive. One can almost imagine the Seguin Bulldog players saying: "Hey, it's going to be papita playing UTB, we'll be having Cabrito today."

However, you can't beat a goat for foraging the semi-arid plains of South Texas. Any victory they can get is good enough for us.

Come to think about it, there is a bit of history associated with the cabritos. Cabritos, when they are kids (in English), suck at their mothers' udders endlessly. Given the way that UTB has sucked local resources dry, it becomes even more appropriate to name its offspring to reflect that fact.

In fact, Queen Goat Juliet Garcia said that she had the option of going after the Scorpion mascot name because the "partnership" had trademarked it despite its association with TSC. She made it sound as if it her been her goodwill that had prevented UTB from initiating litigation against TSC to keep the name.

That goes hand in hand with her current efforts to hijack that college district entity's charter to permit UTB to get its grimy paws on that loot . (More on that sticky issue later.)

That – aside from the 20 years that the UTB has been sucking on TSC's lifemilk – is enough to justify the "Cabrito" name.

"Mama y da topes," goes the local saying. And as far as their parent institution, well, there's cabras and cabro___!