𝗧𝗪𝗢 𝗨𝗡𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗔𝗟 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗬𝗪𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗝𝗢𝗜𝗡 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗖𝗘𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗚𝗜𝗙𝗧 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗪𝗡𝗦𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗘'𝗦 𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗡 𝗖𝗛𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗠𝗔𝗦

Saint Satanas

Even as a self-described "backsliding agnostic," I'm nevertheless held in suspense, waiting to just get past Thanksgiving to embrace the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year," the Roman festival of Saturnalia, now celebrated by most as Christmas.

Two of the Almighty's longtime loyal employees have worked off their buttocks this past year in anticipation of the Holy Day.

While Satan the Devil has shown himself extremely conscientious in tricking, duping, even deceiving humankind into violations of God's Law, Santa Claus has been equally meticulous in keeping an accurate record of those violations, utilizing them for his all-important Naughty and Nice listings.

Satan's extremely heavy workload also includes his role as God's chief enforcer, forever tormenting the likes of Adolph Hitler, Joe Paterno, Jim Jones and Charles Manson at the molten center of Earth known as Hades. 

Wisely, Satan has delegated a bit of his extensive responsibility, allowing a crew of demons to manage volcanoes, earthquakes, hot springs and Yellowstone National Park.

Saint Nicholas

Old Saint Nick, a true believer in global warming, is currently surveying the damage done to his traditional, glacially-enhanced path to deliver the goods from his offices in Nunavut.

At what point will Santa's sled no longer be viable and deliveries turned over to profiteers like FedEx, UPS and the unreliable USPS?  Claus monitors weather data as closely as bookies track injuries to thoroughbreds and quarterbacks.

Accepting the fact that both Satan and Santa found their way to this obscure blog during the fiscal year 2023, I expect nothing for Xmas, but I'm still hopeful my extremely nice grandsons, Jack and Felix, get their just due.  

Neither the God of Justice nor his two prominent henchmen, Satan and Santa, should hold grandsons accountable for the sins of their grandpa.