BREAKING NEWS!! ENTREPRENEURIAL PRIMATE BUYS THE BROWNSVILLE HERALD

 

Photo submitted by Rene Torres

Fu Wukong, a primate raised and educated in the Jiangxi Province of eastern China, has been approved as the new owner/publisher of the Brownsville Herald.

The south Texas daily will be assimilated by Canton Global, the largest media corporation of the People's Republic and printed in English, Spanish and Mandarin.

"Paper pulp is still relatively cheap in China," stated Wukong as he cited his company's desire to greatly increase the size and supplements to the Herald. 

"Think Houston Chronicle 1980!" the new owner told the small group of bystanders at Brownsville's Washington Park.

With a ready supply of newsprint and inks secured, Wukong has been scouring the city for a usable warehouse.

"We've found a location in West Brownsville," stated Wukong, "but back taxes need to be paid and utilities connected."

"It will be status quo for a while", says Wukong, but the new owner fully expects production of the new, oversized edition to start in early 2024.

"We should be ready to go about the same time as the El Jardin Hotel," Wukong quipped.