INSECURE MCALLEN BLOGGER ATTACKS BROWNSVILLE'S GILBERT VELASQUEZ

McAllen's Own,
Duardo Paz-Martinez

Don't let the narrow, round shoulders or the exposed scalp 'tween thinning, red-tinted hair fool you.  The heartthrob to the left is God's gift to Valley women.  Just ask him!

Loverboy routinely regales us with details of a romantic dining experience with a woman of beauty, carefully quoting the price of each dinner entrée, then boasting of a most generous tip.  It's as if he's reading an online menu and fantasizing about taking a local beauty to such an eatery.  Say it ain't so, Duard-O!  LOL!

Anyway, menu-reader Duardie's inclusion of the tip in his "memoirs" is noteworthy.  A couple years ago, before Jerry McHale and Duardo seemed joined at the hip, Jerry recounted taking Duardo to a Mexican restaurant with Jerry paying the bill, but also leaving the tip. Exiting the cafe, Jerry glanced behind him to witness Duardo pocketing the tip, depriving the Hispanic waitstaff of their just due.  This explains the elaborate hoax by the deadbeat Duard to portray himself as always leaving a generous gratuity.  LOL!

"I can cover Brownsville from
anywhere if I want."

Said to live in "a shitty apartment with no car," the lonely Duardumb fights against the notion that he has no way of transporting the ladies to a fine eatery, claiming to utilize Uber in McAllen, just like he did in the Big Apple, writing for the New York Times.  Or was it the Daily News? The Post?  LOL!

Not so funny, but equally damning is the reclusive Duard's constant attacks on some of Brownsville's finest people.  He doesn't know them, has never met them and likely never will, unless, like Robert "Captain Bob" Sanchez, they offer to send a driver to snatch his ass from his allegedly shit-stained apartment.  

Gilbert Velasquez

Local graphics artist Gilbert Velasquez is the latest object of the insecure Duard's vilification.  

Referring to Velasquez as an "old coot," the 70 year old Duardle adds that he "joins a list of Brownsville fuckers chomping at our heels."  

Unemployed Duardbutt's lowest blow comes last, describing Gilbert as a "brown Jim Barton, full of dull-liver sick hate congested in his forever watery eyes."

From his ignominious location, somewhere in the recesses of the McAllen hood, desperate Duardle has gained no traction or readership among McAllen residents.  A real journalist doesn't need a car, just the gumption to meet face-to-face with local leaders.  Remember the 60's hit, Duardface, "These Boots Are Made for Walking?"  LOL!

Dusty McAllen, like Brownsville, has city leaders, a city government and pressing local issues, none of which gets coverage by the self-proclaimed, renowned journalist living somewhere in their midst, while polluting the blogosphere with hateful diatribe about the residents of the palm-lined streets of breezy Brownsville .

Rather than piggyback on the stories of Brownsville bloggers like some kind of blood-sucking leech, get off your ass, son, walk past the Stripes Store into town and introduce yourself to the local players.

Tell them your Mercedes is in the shop and ask for a lift to the City Commission meeting. . .LOL!

From the editor:  For any budding journalists in the McAllen area I gleaned this from the City of McAllen website: 

Regular Meetings of the McAllen Board of Commission are every second and fourth Monday of the month, convening at 5:00 p.m. at the City Commissions Chambers on the 3rd floor at City Hall located at 1300 West Houston Avenue. These meetings are open to the public excluding the executive sessions, which are closed to the public by state law.