Some Juicy Tidbits from Jerry Mchale's Unauthorized Biography of Mayor Tony Martinez

Author Jerry Mchale

Jerry Mchale prefers his life neatly structured:  Grooming his daughter into the next Martina Navratilova at 8:00 AM.  Returning home to cook an old fashioned country breakfast for all the sleeping Mchales at 10:00 AM.  Each of the four Mchale boys has a special need of nurturing:  shared guitar licks, attaboys, home room jitters or simply small talk.

Juxtaposed with family needs is that damn literary drive.  Who better to tell the story of Tony Martinez?  The outline is in place:  The Harlingen years.  Anglicized Spanish.  Meeting Carlos Marin.  How to make money on pharmaceutical mishaps. Running a "Believe in Brownsville" campaign from San Antonio.   Bullying a city commission into absolute obedience.


While Mchale has scheduled interviews with Tony's zumba instructor, ex-wives and Juliet Garcia's terminated housemaid, the nicely aging blogger has toyed with his readership by releasing a few tasty morsels from the coming blockbuster.

Tony Martinez

First of all, Mchale traces the associates, mentors and unholy influences who doomed Martinez not to personal failure, but to fail Brownsville:

I have lost faith in Mayor Tony "Tormenta" Martinez. He sides with the elite. He is a
gunslinger in the Julieta "La Santissima Putissima" Garcia Gang. He is a don in the St. Joe Mafia. He is part of the ruling hierarchy in the corrupt and incompetent Cameron County Democratic Party. He is at his Catholic best carrying a cross as part of the Ku Klux Kardenas Klan. All his compadres are crooks disguised as attorneys. He breaks bread with the Whoring Hernandezes and the Killing Cadriels. He pops the cork on an expensive bottle of wine with "Boozin'" Bill Hudson.

For two years Martinez and his marionettes have done nothing but ban free speech and raise taxes. He has done his best to concentrate power in the hands of Garcia, Fred "The Kraut" Rusteberg, Carlos "El Mago" Marin, the Machiavellian Matamoros millionaire, and the rest of the scumbags and scalawags who pocket the public monies with a pittance set aside for the Brownsville Herald to promote the lie.


In another interesting tidbit, Mchale digs deeply into his spiritual roots, the beatitudes, the Koran, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy and finds deep holes in the Tony Martinez soul:

To be the mayor of Brownsville serving the special interests of Garcia, Rusteberg, Marin, Hudson and the same slimeballs who have kept this town poor and apathetic for decades is a betrayal. He has committed a mortal sin that not even Bishop Daniel "El Fag" Flores can forgive. Forget the besos and the abrazos and his faith. Martinez is a hypocrite. If Judas had had a son, Martinez would have been that boy. Instead, he is just a boy who takes orders.


No book signing event has been announced, but Jerry assures us it will be in a downtown venue. Gilbert Velasquez is working on graphics with the difficult Mchale.