𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗠𝗣 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗜𝗡𝗦 𝗢𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗠𝗖𝗗𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗗 𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗟 𝗝𝗨𝗟𝗬 𝗧𝗢 𝗚𝗘𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗥 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗧 𝗧𝗢𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗘 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗙𝗙𝗦

                                         

Penguin-Inhabited Heard and McDonald Islands

I was curious to see if Trump had quietly removed Heard and McDonald Islands from his list of tariffed countries since their only inhabitants are penguins.  No, the land occupied by aquatic, flightless birds known as sphenisciformes is still on Trump's tariff list and the nonflying fowl have until July to get their shit together or run the risk of something resembling the 125% tariff Trump just placed on the naughty folk of China. 

Australian trade minister Don Farrell extended his sympathy to the birds: "Poor old penguins, I don't know what they did to Trump, but, look, I think it's an indication, to be honest with you, that this was a rushed process."

Before a reporter in the White House press pool could ask Trump the "nasty" question as to why the penguin-inhabited islands were still subject to tariffs, U.S. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, himself a billionaire, stepped up to explain: 

                                

Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick

"If you leave anything off the list, the countries that try to basically arbitrage America go through those countries to us.  The President knows that, he's tired of it, and he's going to fix that."

Lutnick obviously buys into Trump's self-description as a "stable genius" that can't be played even by the penguins inhabiting islands 2,500 miles southwest of Australia.  Meanwhile, in recent days our stock market has lost $6T totally due to the overt cleverness of our "business-savvy" President.