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When Brother Gilbert called me last fall, he said: "Joe, I need a favor. We're a little backwards in our races in the county, you know with Sylvia running for judge. Ain't no girl gonna beat Cascos, even a pushy one like Sylvia," Gilbert said.
So, I agreed to run for judge and let Sylvia have my old clerk job. Like I told her, it's an easy gig. Your assistants do all the work.
After nearly 40 years in this business, I have my haters. Some say I make deals, but that's what politicians do. We didn't get rockets here by not making deals.
Some say I make my employees sell raffle tickets to my pachangas. That's a lie! If one of my workers doesn't want to sell tickets, they can just buy them and keep their job.
As for the fancy portrait, that was Aurora's idea and she got a doctor to pay for them, so what's the fuss about?
This race against Cascos will come down to demographics. I will get almost all of the hispanic women's vote, while Cascos may get the votes of a few jealous husbands, plus the old white ladies and tea party nuts.
Cascos has hurt the county. A lot of my friends and relatives that work for the county haven't got a raise in years. After my election, I will give everyone the raise they deserve.
For those of you who are new voters, I serve Bud Light and Miller Lite at my pachangas. The chicken is grilled at 450 degrees. Anyone wearing a Joe Rivera sticker can eat and drink.
Your next county judge,
Joe
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Hahahahahaha!!!
ReplyDeleteBig fat j.rivera, needs a real job.
ReplyDeleteRivera should go to yoga and be fit and athletic like Cascos.
DeleteWhat do you have against fat people? I sense some anger and hostility towards fat people. Are you this angry towards all fat people or just BIG fat people? Do you need a hug?
DeleteFat's fat, and that's that.
DeleteIs there such a thing as a fataphobe?
Deletethis is childish Jim, you can do much better....besides, Cascos will lose because he is a republican. You are not a news man Jimbo.
ReplyDeleteD/PM-
And you are not news from up in Kyle-fucking-Texas. Go and spout your relavancy as some garage sale.
DeleteJudge Rivera will have a real job. The only jobs available in Brownsville are government provided or dependent on public employees as customers. There is little or no private enterprise. You can't even count the employes at the port because the port was built and is maintained with public money (who will pay for dredging the ship channel). Brownsville is a lot like Cuba. The County Courthouse and BISD, and until recently, UT-B, are the centers of power and patronage. Almost half the town is functionally illiterate and on food stamps. Ironically, Matamoros has a much more vibrant, real economy. They do not have all the government programs the US side has. If one were to eliminate all the government programs and money from Brownsville, it would not even have the GDP of San Fernando.
ReplyDeleteYour cartoonist is surely a child. Amateur!
ReplyDeleteI like the innocent, badly drawn cartoons, Their crude and childish appearance brings to our minds how crude, childish,and sometimes how comical these guys can be. ☺
ReplyDeleteJoe Rivera thrives on his deep rooted corruption. He's incapable of running a meeting, reading or writing an agenda, telling the truth or producing an original thought out of his decrepit little brain. Joe Rivera will continue to be a huge embarrassment until he loses to Carlos Cascos in November.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct in the first half of your analysis. Judge Rivera has all the talent needed to be a "Cacique" in South Texas. However, you err on the election outcome. The guy is a shoo-in. Cascos was a novelty, an aberration. Those stars will not line up again.
DeleteDo not ever underestimate the stupidity of the electorate. LBJ is a perfect example of a President Joe Rivera. He was ignorant, crude, crooked and rude. Graduated from an obscure teacher's college in San Marcos, Texas with a C average. Yet, he managed to attain the highest position in the world.
DeleteAnd, it is not just Democrats. I bring you Rick Perry. Another C student with a D in economics, who cannot even remember simple, pat, campaign slogans and makes a complete fool of himself on national television. And, to imagine, he is thinking about running again.
For you doubters: http://www.scribd.com/doc/61684192/Rick-Perry-s-Texas-A-M-Transcript
DeleteHe did receive a "B" in PE.
real political heavyweight
ReplyDelete"A Legacy of Lead"
I would not vote for Joe Rivera even if they paid me .
ReplyDeleteIt is time to GO AWAY Mr. Rivera.
Mr. Rivera does not buy votes. The chicken plates he provides are a public service because he knows how busy people are, that they do not have the time to cook and vote. Vote Joe G. Rivera for County Judge.
DeleteNo mames
Delete"For the first time ever, U.S. public schools are projected this fall to have more minority students than non-Hispanic whites enrolled, a shift largely fueled by growth in the number of Hispanic children."
ReplyDeleteViva La Raza! "Viva La Reconquista" "No Mames, Gringos"
So now we defund the Department of Education. Now will all the illegals go home?
DeleteJoe Rivera can be the County Judge. It is simple. First we have Chris Davis tell Ida Stacy to appoint him. Then he can run around doing whatever it is that a County Judge is supposed to do. While his is going on we have people state with tremendous anonymous authority that no appointments were made, then simultaneously with equally tremendous anonymous authority state some weird bullshit made up title to try to cover the fact that Ida appointed Joe Rivera to be County Judge. Well, it seems like it worked for James Ross, or was it James Ross and Sharron Batterson? It is very confusing. Could someone with REAL anonymous authority please officially explain how this works? Joe Rivera really needs the appointment, so we are kind of in a hurry.
ReplyDeleteChris Davis would have to get Amber Medina to make the appointment because Joe is a Democrat. Sometimes you people are just too stupid for words. Seriously....
DeleteWill those two clowns ever give it a rest? Their obsession is becoming something a doctor should treat.
DeleteWill you restate that, but this time invoking tremendous anonymous authority? It would make us all feel safer and secure if you did.
Delete@7:15......Socky Sockity Sock sock.
DeleteNo, it is Chrisy Chrisity Chris Chris.
DeleteNoppity nope nope nope you doppity dope dope dopes.
DeleteClassic It's Not Me!
Delete@7:15......Socky Sockity Sock sock.
DeleteNo, it is Chrisy Chrisity Chris Chris.
Noppity nope nope nope you doppity dope dope dopes.
Please note the inability to main meter and scheme. This is a strong expression of the white gene group (Ref. Steve Martin - "The Jerk",1979)
This isn't me either.
DeleteHas anyone ever thought about how ridiculous it is to call the top county administrator a "County Judge" when they have nothing to do with the judiciary, nor are there any legal qualifications for the position. I have always thought the position should be called "County Cacique".
ReplyDeleteIt took you that long to give us a Wiki link. Must be mobile internet. Seriously....
Delete"A County Judge in Texas MAY have judicial responsibility for certain criminal, civil and probate matters – responsibility for these functions vary from County to County." The key word is MAY. However, it is good to know that there are literally no real qualifications to be a "County Judge". You do have to be at least 18 years of age on first day of term to be filled at election. There is NO requirement to be a practicing lawyer or judge. You could even be one of Brownsville's 43% adult illiterate population. You wonder why the seat attracts unqualified candidates? And, yes, they win elections. http://www.sos.state.tx.us/elections/candidates/guide/qualifications.shtml
DeleteOscar X. Garcia has been very negative in his ads and it's only August. If you have to go negative this early......
ReplyDeleteWho is giving him the bright idea to be this negative three months before votes are cast much less counted?
DeleteJoe has a great team behind him. That is why he will beat Cascos.
ReplyDeleteA team ?? Ha ha ha... what he has behind him ...is the FBI....lol
DeleteKeep dreaming. ....
DeleteJoe does have a great team. They aren't expending energy on blogs like the Cascos Republicans. Seriously....
DeleteAy Roman...que pendejo.
DeleteAre we going to see a repeat of the Pct. 54 debacle from last go around?
DeleteAy Morgana....que English to Spanish Thesaurus.
DeleteJoe Rivera and his team of hags are busy buying up as many votes as they can get.
ReplyDeleteWhat the Republicans fail to understand is that the vote of a congenital syphilitic counts the same as a brilliant bloggers. Until they figure this out, they will lose every election from here to hell and back.
DeleteHa.ha...right on !!!#
DeleteRE: 1.:41pm
DeleteSometimes they count more. Two, maybe three times.
Joe Rivera = Ernie Hernandez's CHICHI
ReplyDeleteOh dear, now instead of bringing up El Cucuy those radical Republicans are drumming another equally irrelevant Bhakolwa. Hey let's ask the yoga extroidinaire and super fit Cascos how often he worked and voted with Ol' Ernie
Delete