Politicians: Enter Cobbleheads At Your Own Risk!

 

by Jim Barton on Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 9:45pm

     "We're two Irish phallic symbols" declares Cobblehead's owner Joe Kenney referring to himself and local poet Jerry Mchale. Neither man wears black to look thinner, but merely to accurately reflect the color of their soul. The fake insults cannot hide the mutual admiration.


     At the obligatory sign-in table, I misspell my email address, but "what the heck," Mattingly knows how to get hold of me. Erin Hernandez Garcia is signing in next to me. I make a mental note to follow her in the buffet line to reemphasize that her preoccupation with food exceeds mine. That strategy backfires as, unlike Erin, I miss the free food altogether.




     The main room is full. One table holds BISD operatives including fake "Doctor"Enrique Escobedo, Chinese motor scooter salesman Pat Lehmann and the loquacious Chris Valadez in character as "Maclovio O'Malley". It crossed my mind to spike all their drinks with truth serum but why spoil their fun?






     Ernie Hernandez, Jr. and Bill Young seem a bit stunned when I ask for a photograph, but it's Bill's beautiful daughter Morgan that justifies the pic. In an awkward moment, I notice Commissioner Melissa Zamora just before entering the "Elvis" room. She notices my fake Press/Blogger badge and introduces me to her handsome friend Mark Clive.



     Jerry Mchale asks where we're sitting and I motion toward the unoccuppied deck. Jerry graciously buys a round then two more. My money is no good here. Jerry regales us with poetry, political defeats by the unethical Ernie Hernandez and a phone call from his 22 year old son living in Austin. After his speech, which we missed, Chuck Mattingly wanders back to our table, a veritable mine field for a politician. Laura Miniel, the idealist daughter of Sally Arroyo, asks Mattingly about the non-prosecution of Ernie Hernandez, Jr. for orchestrating a stand-in to take the civil service test for his never-do-well felonious brother-in-law Robert Cadriel, who scored a 30 and then a 33 on his own before a girl in Robert Lopez Human Resources office took the test for him and scored a 96. Robert Lopez then resigned his well-paying job to look in the want ads for another "opportunity".    Ernie, of course, "knew nothing."


     A fit Carlos Cascos wandered out without security into the deck area. Mary Helen cornered him about Padre Island and Boca Chica Beach development, which she opposes. Carlos attempts an escape but is caught by attorney Angela Nix.





     Carlos notices Tad Hasse and remembers a prior engagement. Tad rounds out the night with a dissertation on electonic circuitry. Another night along the resaca at Cobbleheads.